I’ve been trying to get a picture or video of the bees on my patio, with no success. No matter how many bees are around, I always wind up with a picture completely devoid of bees; in fact, I don’t even see them when I look through the viewfinder. This is probably because I’m taking the pictures from a distance (because they’re bees, and they’ve already stung me once), or because I’m not a very good photographer, or because my cellphone camera just isn’t up to the job of photographing small insects flying rapidly with bad lighting conditions from a distance.
At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. But no matter how hard I try to rationalize, I just can’t ignore the fact that the simplest explanation is that I’m dealing with vampire bees.
This would explain a number of things:
- The bees don’t show up in photos or video.
- I’ve never seen their reflection in a mirror.
- They don’t like garlic.
- They’ve exhibited unnatural behavior; specifically, stinging me without provocation.
I found that last one particularly troubling, so I decided to do some research. It turns out that googling “vampire bee” yields about 1370 hits, all of which seem to be about apian vampires (as opposed to, say, some sort of competition in which people try to spell vampire names or answer vampire trivia questions). But apart from one site with a picture of a vampire bee emerging from a bee-sized coffin, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of practical information out there.
So I guess I’m on my own. I have no idea what the long-term effects are of a vampire bee sting, but so far I haven’t noticed any unusual cravings for honey, pollen, or human blood, so I’m cautiously optimistic.
Update, July 20: Reader retmeishka posted a link to a picture of a vampire bee biting the neck of a flower. This provides us with an important new bit of information: apparently it is possible to photograph a vampire bee, but only when it’s feeding.
Update, July 27: Apparently, the vampires in Twilight are butterflies. Of course, this only applies to sparkly vampire humans; vampire bees are a different species entirely.
The bee saga concludes with this vampire bee update.