As I’m sure you know by now, I’m not one to complain, but there are a few matters I need to bring to your attention:
1. None of you sent me anything for my birthday, even though I provided convenient links to my Amazon.com wish list in several of my posts, including Looking Forward to Another Birthday, Only 30 Shopping Days Left Until My Birthday, Only 29 Shopping Days Left Until My Birthday, Today Is Probably the Last Day to Get Free Shipping in Time for My Birthday, There’s Still Time to Get Me Something for My Birthday If You Choose One-Day Shipping, and Better Late than Never: It’s Okay to Send Belated Birthday Presents, but You Should Probably Spend a Little More on Them.
2. So far, none of you have ordered my self-published book, 365 Blog Posts About My Birthday. This book contains everything I’ve written this year, so I’m sure you’ll agree it’s a steal at $49.95. I know you’re all planning to buy it eventually, but please stop procrastinating.
3. Some of you have commented that I never got you anything for your birthday. While these statements are true, they’re irrelevant — this blog is about what you should do for my birthday, not what I should do for your birthday. Please read more carefully in the future, and keep your comments on-topic.
Thank you for your attention — I just needed to clear the air. We’ll get back to more pleasant topics with tomorrow’s post, After Sending This Year’s (Belated) Present, It’s Time to Start Thinking About Next Year’s Birthday.