1. Where and how were the stockings hung?
a) by the chimney, with care.
b) on the clothesline, haphazardly.
c) in the library, with a rope, by Colonel Mustard.
2. Who were the children waiting for?
a) Saint Nicholas.
b) Godot.
c) Krampus
3. Why does St. Nick employ tiny reindeer instead of regular-sized reindeer?
a) Tiny reindeer have better aerodynamics.
b) Full-sized reindeer would exceed the weight limit specified in most roof warranties.
c) It was an accident. The baby reindeer that St. Nick bought from a pet store developed stunted growth and a variety of other health problems due to the horrible living conditions and poor breeding practices at the reindeer mill where they were born.
4. Visions of sugar plums…
a) danced in the children’s heads.
b) performed acrobatic feats in the children’s stomachs.
c) grew into unhealthy obsessions and, in many cases, eating disorders that lasted well into adulthood. Some of the children refused to eat sugar plums ever again; others would eat nothing but sugar plums.
Happy whatever-you-celebrate. And please, if you decide to bring reindeer into your household, don’t buy them from a pet store — adopt from a local shelter instead.
Unlikely Explanations 
Pass the sugar plums please
Sorry, no sugar plums here. Can I interest you in a piece of flourless chocolate cake instead?
Have you got a jar of peanut butter in the house? Perhaps I’ll just have a spoonful of that
But if pet shop reindeer are stunted and can still fly, we could make a mint telling people they are genetically engineered to stay tiny.
Always adopt more than one reindeer. They are happiest in at least pairs. If you’ve got room for four or more, so much the better. They get lonely and quit flying if they are kept alone.
Remember to have your reindeer spayed or neutered.
African Christmases are obviously lacking in tradition . . . What are sugar plums?
I don’t know either, Lisa! I’m hoping Laura will explain! :-)
I’ve never seen a sugar plum in real life. As a child, I thought they were some kind of mythical confection invented just for that poem. Wikipedia says they’re candy made from dried fruit.
Ahhh!
I swear, before I leave this planet, I’m going to try some sugar plums. I can’t have anything dancing around in my head if I haven’t experienced it!
We should just pick a date, declare it International Sugar Plum Tasting Day, and then all locate and try a sugar plum on that day.
I’ll join you.
No, don’t pick a date. Pick a plum. Silly.
Perhaps we can compromise and set a plum-picking date.
Let’s all meet at Little Jack Horner’s on 1/1.
I never knew St Nick employed tiny reindeer, you learn something new every day!
Happy Tiny Reindeer Night, Laura! :D
According to the poem, the reindeer are tiny, the sleigh is miniature, and Santa is little. This could be because the narrator first sees them at a distance, but I prefer to interpret poetry literally.
The reindeer rescue leagues thank you. (It’s never good idea to give reindeer as a present – they may not be welcomed…and reindeer do have that odd habit of dashing onto surrounding roofs – especially on Dec nights- and may be hard to catch). Nice post. Jingle on
“Jingle on, dude” is going to be my Christmas greeting from now on.
The answer is always C. Also, I hand-craft small-batch, artisan, organic, PABA-free, cruelty-free, fair-trade sugar plums in my traditional-method kitchen. Please consider me your first stop when planning all of your International Sugar Plum Tasting Day needs!
It wouldn’t be Christmas Eve on the Internet without sugar plum spam.
Hahaha… and, please remember to have your reindeer spayed or neutered.
Happy holidays, Laura!
:)
Same to you and Annabelle.
A reindeer seems like a good Christmas gift but they all end up in animal shelters by the first week of January.
People always underestimate how much work it is to clean up after reindeer.
I love answer b. for question 2.
Well, that’s where we differ. I like answer c for question 1.
I refuse to take tests on Christmas. Just give me my presents!!
Oh, and I hope you had a great Christmas.
Just give me my presents please. Were you raised by wolves?
I did have a great Christmas, and I hope you did too.
Actually I was raised by wild Wombats. In a burrow. With really poor TV reception.
I got stuck on the sugar plums. What in the heck are they? I’ve wondered this for years.
I had no idea the sugar plums would strike such a chord. I kind of wish I’d known this a month ago.
I answered C all around. I never heard of Krampus before. They should sell those instead of the Elf on a Shelf.
They could put them in classrooms! Krampus on campus!
1. (d) in the town square for horse-thievery and stalking (stocking…hehehe)
2. (d) the Candy Man, who, like Krampus, accompanies the Big Guy
3. (d) St. Nick doesn’t employ them, they are volunteers….seriously, after being trapped all year in the snow at the North Pole, wouldn’t you volunteer to leave for warmer climes?
4. (d) This is what happens to your brain on drugs.
Because I am not a good test-taker, and because I am a rebel.
Is the Candy Man a jolly figure who gives out candy or a deranged serial killer?
*thinking hard* Er…..yes.
C, B, A, C.
Sugar plums are the devil’s fruit. And raisins too.
Can’t we just feed those to the reindeer?
Have you ever had a sugar plum, or is that just speculation?
I don’t know whether you can feed sugar plums to reindeer. You can’t feed raisins to dogs or onions to cats (I mention those two facts because I feel like I need to prove that I know some animal feeding trivia).
Total speculation. I mean, why would I eat a sugar plum? They’re the devil’s fruit, you know.
I didn’t study and the cats ate my homework. Will this be available for a retest?
Only if you bring enough sugar plums to share with the whole class.
I, too, am stuck on the sugar plums. I hope they’re like really delicious plum-flavored blow pops.
I actually had to look up blow pops (although once I did, I realized I’d had them before).