Summer fruits are delicious, but many people miss out on these healthful treats because of the amount of effort required to transform a piece of fruit from its original state into something fit to eat. With today’s modern technology, however, fruit preparation has never been simpler. The following is a step-by-step guide for enjoying some of the most commonly available fruits of the season.
How to eat a peach
You will need:
- One peach.
- One Amco Peach Pitter/Slicer.
- Rinse the peach.
- Place the peach on a level surface.
- Position the slicer over the peach.
- Press down on the slicer.
- Eat the peach slices. Don’t eat the pit or the slicer.
How to eat a pear
You will need:
- Rinse the pear.
- Place the pear on the orange-colored apple-shaped cutting board.
- Position the orange-colored apple-shaped slicer over the pear.
- Press down on the slicer.
- Eat the pear slices. Don’t eat the core, the slicer, or the cutting board.
How to eat a cantaloupe
You will need:
- One cantaloupe.
- One Norpro Grip-EZ Melon Cutter.
- Rinse the cantaloupe.
- Place the cantaloupe on a level surface.
- Position the slicer over the cantaloupe.
- Press down on the slicer.
- Eat the cantaloupe slices. Don’t eat the slicer or the rind. Avoid the seeds.
How to eat a strawberry
You will need:
- One strawberry.
- One Chef’n StemGem Strawberry Stem Remover.
- One Joie Simply Slice Strawberry Slicer.
- Rinse the strawberry
- Grasp the strawberry firmly but gently in your left hand. Hold the StemGem in your right hand (if you’re left-handed, hold these directions up to a mirror).
- Press the green button on the StemGem to open the claw.
- Insert the claw into the stem end of the strawberry.
- Twist and remove the StemGem.
- Open the strawberry slicer.
- Put the hulled strawberry into the slicer.
- Close the slicer.
- Enjoy your delicious strawberry slices. Don’t eat the slicer or the StemGem.
How to eat a banana
You will need:
- One banana, peeled.
- One Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer.
My goal here has been to provide instructions that the reader can follow at home to eat a piece of fruit purchased from a grocery store or farmer’s market. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to do that for bananas: the peels aren’t edible, and there are no banana-peeling tools available for home use. So before you proceed with the following steps, you’ll need to have your banana professionally peeled.
- Place the banana on a level surface.
- Position the slicer over the banana.
- Press down on the slicer.
- Eat the banana slices. Don’t eat the slicer.
How to eat a blueberry
You will need:
- One blueberry.
- Rinse the blueberry.
- Open your mouth.
- Place the entire blueberry into your mouth.
- Close your mouth, removing any fingers that remain inside.
- Chew and swallow.
Update: I haven’t tried this myself, but I’ve just read an article that claims that it’s possible to peel a banana yourself at home, using only your bare hands. Proceed with caution.
Unlikely Explanations 
Okay, I did that thing where I didn’t read all the directions first and ate the peach slices, pit and slicer, and then read the final instruction that I was only suppose to eat the slices. Please advise.
This is pretty serious. After being chewed and going through your digestive system, that slicer is going to be ruined. You’ll have to buy a new one.
Remove fingers from mouth! I’ve been doing it wrong for years! Well, I had better go buy some more band aids.
Prosthetic fingers are on aisle six.
No handy-dandy 6-in-one blueberry tool? This is clearly an un-tapped market! I’ll have to get right on that… once I finish washing all the rest of my fruit slicing devices. I still have about 50 blades to go on my peach slicer.
:)
What we really need is the equivalent of a PEZ dispenser for blueberries.
I have been waiting my whole, entire life for the banana slicer. FINALLY! EVENLY SLICED BANANAS WILL BE MINE!
Now i just need a guide to place them evenly on the top of my cereal.
A banana cereal template! That’s a great idea! We could have a whole product line, ranging from an entry-level model (a plastic disc with banana-slice-shaped holes) to a deluxe model (a ceiling-mounted projector that projects banana-slice-shaped outlines onto a cereal bowl positioned under it).
When eating the blueberries, where do I put the coins?
You line them up in the strawberry slicer.
Don’t eat cutting board? Are you sure?
It does look delicious, doesn’t it? If the product description didn’t say it was apple-shaped, I would have mistaken it for an orange bell pepper.
The melon cutter clearly suffers from grandiosity if it thinks it can take on an entire cantaloupe.
That one in particular seems like it would be a disaster. Because really, what about the seeds?
How to eat chocolate:
Put in mouth and chew.
Remove fingers before chewing! Always remove fingers before chewing!
All I can say is Amico is really missing out on some golden marketing opportunities with their shallow product line. They are ignoring the slicing technology needs for a whole fruit-salad worth of options!
Oh, they have more. I’m just focusing on the summer fruits.
And to think that all these years I’ve been using just a plain old paring knife!
Be careful! You could cut yourself with that thing!
I like how the fruit opening devices look like the actual fruit. Imagine if you tried putting a banana in the peach slicer. Fruit carnage.
That may be why I find the pear slicer so confusing.
These take all the fun out of cutting myself with the knife and struggling not to drip blood into the fruit salad!
“Lovely fruit salad — the dressing is a little unusual, though.”
Too bad I haven’t been able to read this until autumn. Are there any recommendations on how to eat fall fruits easily and safely?
— Urgently awaiting your reply
Yes, there are. I’ll post a follow-up article as soon as my team of experts and fact-checkers have finished reviewing it.
I’ve heard that there is a very versatile multipurpose fruit slicer out there, which works on all types of fruit, bananas, strawberries, apples, blueberries, you name it. It’s called “a knife”, and apparently you could even use it for non-summer fruits as well. I’ll go check if Amazon has any of those.
Sounds like one of those wacky gizmos you see advertised on infomercials late at night. It slices bananas! Cores apples! Chops onions! Minces garlic! Suuuuure it does.