What’s Your Halloween Personality Type?

1. What’s your pumpkin-carving style?

A. I choose the perfect pumpkin, create an original design on paper, create a template, and then cut the pumpkin very precisely and painstakingly.

B. I dig the plastic pumpkin out of the back of the hall closet and blow most of the dust off.

C. I don’t decorate for Halloween.

D. I carve my start-up company’s logo into the pumpkin, then take pictures and post to all my social-media sites. It’s a festive decoration and free advertising.

E. I enjoy carving faces.

2. What’s your approach to distributing Halloween candy?

A. I engage each child in conversation to determine whether their treats need to be gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free, or sugar-free.

B. I point at the candy bowl and say “help yourself.”

C. I turn off the porch light and don’t answer the door.

D. When parents come to the door with their children, I invite them in for a drink and a marketing presentation.

E. I make sure everyone gets what they deserve.

3. It’s two days before Halloween. What last-minute supplies do you buy?

A. None. I’ve already carved my jack-o-lantern, sewn homemade costumes for my children, put up decorations, and bought a carefully-selected assortment of candy.

B. A few bags of fun-sized candies to replace the ones I bought last weekend but ate already. And some beer.

C. Blackout curtains and a “No Solicitors” sign for my front door.

D. None. I’ve already picked up the candies that I had custom-wrapped my company’s logo and web address.

E. Extra-large garbage bags, duct tape, an area rug, and a shovel.

4. Halloween is a good time to …

A. Impress the neighbors.

B. Eat candy.

C. Turn out the lights and hide in the dark.

D. Network with people from the neighborhood.

E. Dispose of a body.

Happy Halloween! If you’re looking for last-minute advice, you may find some of these older posts useful:

For costume ideas, why not try some of these Reese’s-themed fashions?

Don’t want to spend the evening handing out candy? Try some of these alternate candy distribution methods

And it’s always a good idea to follow these simple Halloween safety tips

I’ve switched to a different mail-sending mechanism, so if you get these posts by mail and anything looks strange, please let me know. And as always, please feel free to follow my sad, lonely Facebook page.

Oops! Some of you may have gotten two copies of this in the mail. Sorry about that — it won’t happen again.

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Posted in Humor
19 comments on “What’s Your Halloween Personality Type?
  1. Speaker7 says:

    I think I’d rather meet personality E over personality D.

  2. Elyse says:

    Hmmm. I never thought of using Halloween to make sure everyone gets what they deserve. Does that include family members?

    Happy Halloween!

  3. Dana says:

    I’m so a “C”. I usually forget it’s Halloween at all and then get flustered/confused when I see everybody dressed up in costumes that day. I’m totally watching a movie tonight (not a scary one) and pretending I don’t hear the doorbell. ;)

    • Laura says:

      I remember being at home with my mom one year, watching TV quietly in the dark and pretending not to be home, and feeling totally humiliated when some kids yelled “we know you’re in there” and proceeded to tell us what we were watching on TV.

  4. Dana says:

    PS: I got notified of this post twice by e-mail for some reason. One was from your blog name and the other one was from Laura.

  5. B. I point at the candy bowl and say “help yourself.”—-That’s the best way to do it. Kids love it, and I don’t have to sit outside in the freezing cold for more than 30 minutes.

    • Laura says:

      I’m definitely a “B”, but I usually pick some candies randomly from the bowl and give them to the kids. I think that’s actually faster than letting them decide for themselves.

  6. Margie says:

    A very interesting choice of answers! I’m mostly a ‘B’ – except we never get any trick or treaters out here in the country, so we get to spend the evening eating candy without interruption.

  7. I usually spend Halloween decorating for New Years.
    I’d hate to fall too far behind.

  8. Holly Folly says:

    You forgot the get drunk while watching campy horror movies with the husband becasue we are snowed in almost every Halloween demographic.

  9. Darla says:

    Oh, I am so with Holly Folly on this one. this year we were lucky there wasn’t any snow for a change (I still go drunk though)

  10. List of X says:

    I am definitely a type C personality, because I don’t believe in candy redistribution.

    • Laura says:

      It doesn’t have to be candy, you know. You can give the kids those little boxes of raisins, or crayons, or sternly-worded lectures on the virtues of self-reliance.

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