Place Your Bets

The Moen faucet cartridge replacement of doom

I bought this today. Will the evening end …

  1. With a perfectly functioning kitchen sink and a massively inflated ego, or
  2. With three more trips to Home Depot, or
  3. With a call to a plumber, or
  4. With a trip to the emergency room, or
  5. With a trip to the morgue?

If the answer turns out to be #5, it was nice knowing you.

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Posted in Humor
14 comments on “Place Your Bets
  1. I predict both one and two. No project can be completed with just one trip to the store. It is the law.

    • Laura says:

      I once fixed a running toilet with ZERO trips to the store. I bragged about it constantly for a month, until it started running again and I quietly dropped the subject. My average is 2-3 trips, though.

  2. Holly Folly says:

    Three more trips to HoDep. You know you have hit a new low when you are standing in the store getting advice on what you have been trying to do for the past two hours from a guy with only two teeth.

    Not that that has happened to me or anything.

    • Laura says:

      The people at my Home Depot don’t really talk to you. There are a couple local hardware stores where the people are actually really nice and patient, but they close early on weekends.

  3. Gail says:

    I think you should take Holly Folly on as a Blog Assistant.

  4. If you were able to open the plastic package without a trip to the emergency room, you are in good stead. Good luck!

    • Laura says:

      I was able to open BOTH the original plastic package and the package for the other part that I got at my second trip to Home Depot without even resorting to scissors. I’m amazing at home repairs. I’ll have to be sure to point that out to the plumber tomorrow.

  5. Theresa says:

    How did the evening end?

    Actually, you haven’t responded yet to anyone’s comments. So it must be #1, success and inflated ego. Or I guess it could be #5, trip to the morgue, which would be a huge bummer.

    • Laura says:

      It’s actually 1, 2, 3, and a near-miss for 4 (it turns out that if you need to pull straight up on a plumbing part, and it won’t budge, and you get the bright idea to stand on a stepstool to give yourself a little height, and you pull as hard as you can and then your pliers slip, you can come really close to falling off the stool).

  6. omawarisan says:

    I’m not sure what my answer is because I don’t know what that is. I’m going to consult a real man and get back to you.

  7. I’m voting for No. one.
    Although I would have lost at least one digit.
    Probably an entire limb.

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I have some publications in other places, including short stories at Shimmer, Flash Fiction Online, and Daily Science Fiction, and a list of overly-wordy LOLCat captions on McSweeney's.

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