Rejected Submissions to NASA’s “Send a Haiku to Mars” Contest

NASA needs your help. They’re soliciting haiku poems to send on a future mission to Mars.

Two hundred million
miles from home. Did I forget
to turn off the stove?

I love the view but
hate this planet’s atmosphere.
Yelp rating: three stars.

I’ve a feeling we’re
not in Kansas anymore.
Stupid GPS.

It’s cold here on Mars
every day. So you’d have to
be crazy to stay.

But I think it’s worth
The distance from Earth, to see
the Martians at play.

NASA wants haiku.
Limericks are considered

It seems fitting that
these poems for Martians were
written by Vogons.

Tagged with: , , , , , ,
Posted in Humor
37 comments on “Rejected Submissions to NASA’s “Send a Haiku to Mars” Contest
  1. omawarisan says:

    stove one is good
    martians like haiku
    don’t know stoves

  2. I think you should name the three stars. The Sun must be one of them, but what’s its official name?

  3. Holly Folly says:

    If it was real Vogon poetry, we would all be dead by now. Or at least insane. You have to be careful with that.

    • Laura says:

      This blog accepts no responsibility for any poetry-related injuries or fatalities. That’s clearly spelled out in section 27, paragraph 6 of the Terms and Condition.

  4. denise:) says:

    I can’t see how these are rejected, they are brilliant!

  5. pegoleg says:

    NASA’s funding cut
    Real science replaced by fluff.
    A nation’s heart bleeds.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Mars isn’t the place

    to raise kids because, in fact

    it is cold as hell

  7. Gail says:

    REALLY laughing out loud.

  8. Elyse says:

    OK, this is my fav:

    I’ve a feeling we’re
    not in Kansas anymore.
    Stupid GPS.

    Do you think they’ll take my husband? No, I’m not that anxious to get rid of him, but he’s always wanted to go.

  9. Love the Kansas one ( send it)
    And the stove one would be a perfect reflection of what it means to be human!
    The YELP is great…but you’d have to have a footnote about what is yelp
    Really cleaver verses!

  10. I wanted to come up with a good, ‘Cohagen give these people air’ haiku… but… yeah, my head started to throb. Can I blame this on lack of oxygen? Oh well. Wouldn’t be much fun if not read out loud in a ‘Schwarzenegger-esque’ fashion, anyway.

  11. yearstricken says:

    I love the first one.

  12. I love these. All of them are suitable as far as I’m concerned.

    If men are from Mars
    No wonder they make no sense
    This place kind of blows

  13. wildninja says:

    I’m guffawing. These are awesome.

  14. These are very good! The “Did I forget to turn off the stove?” one would definitely be me.

  15. […] Ultimately, given that the three haikus to be sent into Martian orbit will be chosen by online voting, it’s likely that humour will attract the most votes. Searching around the internet for examples of Mars-related haikus, I came across this little gem by Laura of the blog Unlikely Explanations: […]

  16. […] up. (Why do I have so many friends who are confused with animals?)  Her recent post on rejected NASA haikus made me spew coffee all over my […]

  17. Al says:

    I actually submitted this to the contest

    To my good Martian friend Ku
    I send you this greeting from Earth,

  18. Gry Ranfelt says:

    Ah, the second was spectacular! Did you write this or is it a collection? :) Anyway, didn’t know they issued this competition. Very interesting! I always say I don’t read poetry but stumbling across it like this is so much fun :D

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I have some publications in other places, including short stories at Shimmer, Flash Fiction Online, and Daily Science Fiction, and a list of overly-wordy LOLCat captions on McSweeney's.

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