Archives

A list of every post that’s ever appeared on this blog.

• What I Did, Writing-Wise, in 2018
• Blog-hopping cats
• A Scene From My Laundry Room, Earlier This Week
• 2015 Year In Review
• Resurrecting the Blog
• Zombie Unicorns, and Why I Hate Them
• Mudville, 2358 (Casey at the Bat, With Aliens)
• Pop Quiz: Internet Marketing
• Valentine (2014)
• Why Cats Are Better Than Dogs
• The Making of OmaMania! The Musical
• Yes, Virginia, There Is An Apple Core
• Six Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Santa Claus
• Ten Reasons Why I Haven’t Updated My Blog Lately
• Dorothy and the Multiverse
• Today Is National Ice Cream Day — Or Is It?
• New Filibuster Rules for the Texas State Senate
• Through a Peg, Freshly
• Total Recall
• How To Read About How To Determine Your Optimal Daily Caffeine Intake
• Rejected Submissions to NASA’s “Send a Haiku to Mars” Contest
• My Cats Are So Helpful
• Boston
• These Writing Tips Will Change Your Life
• Why That’s Not Me Sleeping In A Glass Box at MOMA
• Thank You For Reading My Blog. Here Are a Few Things You Should Know.
• Good News! Heavily Armed Killer Dolphins Are Not Out To Get You. Yet.
• Guns Don’t Shoot People. Ovens Shoot People.
• BREAKING NEWS: I’ve Chosen a Name For My Cat
• The Delusional Homeowner’s Guide to Faucet Repair
• Place Your Bets
• A Guest Post. By My Cat.
• A Christmas Poem
• Who is Astrid Volpert? And Other Questions for the Butterball Turkey Hotline
• What’s Your Halloween Personality Type?
• How to Eat Fruit (Fall Edition)
• You Probably Don’t Want to Read My Depressing Cat Blog
• Coffee Conundrum
• Look! Over There!
• How to Eat Fruit
• Fifty Shades of Gregor Samsa
• Probably Not Covered Under Warranty
• Sparkle
• An Open Letter to The Infinite Monkey Cage
• I’m Beginning to Think You’re Smarter Than I Am
• Driven to Distraction
• The Eagle Has Landed
• Moving Day!
• How to Survive a Solar Eclipse
• My Cats Probably Don’t Have the Disease From the Movie “Contagion”
• Beyond “Highlight”: Paying for Promotion on Facebook
• Don’t Look a Zombie Chocolate Bunny in the Mouth
• Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
• What I Use My Time Machine For, Now That The Novelty Has Worn Off
• Self-Referential Sunday: My New Posting Schedule
• Three Scary Things In My House
• March Madness! A Pop Quiz
• Before There Was Spam…
• The Five Stages of Realizing You’ve Written a Poorly-Worded Blog Comment
• Valentine
• Toxoplasmosis or Super PAC? How to Tell Them Apart
• How to Destroy America (Step 1: Dig Up Marilyn Monroe)
• Customer Review: The Acme EZ-Jump Personal Teleportation Device
• Another Reason Why You Can’t Take Me Anywhere: Dim Sum Broccoli
• Everyone’s a Critic
• An Open Letter to the Nice Couple Who Didn’t Have Me Arrested When I Broke Into Their House
• Lessons Learned From Last Year’s Search Terms
• My New Year’s Resolution: In 2012, I Will Humiliate Myself Publicly On This Blog
• December is Sugar Plum Awareness Month
• The Pop Quiz Before Christmas
• No Time to Read? Try the New Kindle Spark
• That One Night It Got Really Windy
• Office Supplies: The Movie
• Ten Warning Signs That You May Be Experiencing a Wind Storm
• My Favorite Holiday Is Almost Here
• Time Flies Backwards, Like a Fruit Fly Avoiding a Banana
• I’m Sorry Your Child Disliked My Halloween Treats
• Pop Quiz
• Towards a Less Intrusive Halloween: Alternate Candy Distribution Methods
• Your Feeble Attempts to Ruin My Life Have Not Succeeded
• We Have Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself. And, Of Course, Zombies.
• Confessions of a Water-Spiller
• Should You See Contagion? This Flowchart Will Help You Decide
• Another Time I Didn’t Kill My Next-Door Neighbor
• Errata and Clarifications to Recent Posts
• Grocery Bag Dysmorphic Disorder
• An Open Letter to a Guy Who May or May Not Be Named Dan, Regarding Our Recent Text Message Exchange
• Terror in the Skies: An Open Letter to Vance Gilbert
• The Door
• Land of the Free (Ad-Supported)
• South California: Most Likely to Secede?
• This Is Not a Book Review (Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking)
• National Barbecue Day
• Dear Future Houseguest
• Twelve Things I Wish I’d Known About Insects
• Too Much of a Good Thing
• My Son Keeps Seeing Bees But There Is No Bees
• Three Ways in Which You, the Readers of My Blog, Have Failed Me
• The Obligatory Osama bin Laden Post
• My Decision to Discontinue My Participation in the Spring Valley Herald’s Weekly Caption Contest
• What’s Wrong With This Picture?
• Feline Kinetic Gastronomy
• Rebecca Black’s Lesser-Known Cat Video
• Challenge Recipe #1: Chicken With Gravy
• A Change of Focus
• Well, That Was Disappointing
• Common Misconceptions Regarding My Cat
• Frequently Asked Questions About My Coffee Plant
• My Somewhat Belated Advice to Watson, the Jeopardy! Supercomputer
• To the Manufacturers of the Squeaker 3000 Robotic Toy Mouse
• Valentine
• It’s Only a Game: Your Guide to the Super Bowl
• I Don’t Want to Alarm Anyone, But I’m Pretty Sure I Have Rabies
• An Actual Book Review
• Unlikely Resolutions
• I Find This Form of Flattery Somewhat Insincere
• Happy Holidays
• A Brief History of the War on Groundhog Day
• Exciting Developments in Walmart’s Partnership With DHS
• An Interview With GFAJ-1, the Arsenic-Eating Bacterium
• TSA’s New Security Procedures: A Different Perspective
• I Am So Incredibly Good At This
• Better Living Through Candy: Creative and Practical Uses For Halloween Leftovers
• Halloween Safety Tips
• How to Write the Perfect Mystery Novel
• Can Mad Men’s Ad Agency Survive? Yes, With a Little Help From Some Of Its Contemporaries
• A First Look at GM’s Prototype Facebook Interface
• When Memes Collide: Unfortunate Pairings from Catroulette
• Sentiments I’m Incapable of Expressing on Facebook
• Dear Cat-Hater Haters: Please Stop. You’re Not Helping.
• Arbitrary and Capricious
• Video Review: Vinay and Maru Prove that P ≠ NP
• “Laura’s Bad Ideas” is now “Unlikely Explanations”
• Frequently Asked Questions About California’s Proposition 8
• My Car is Really Dirty
• Sofa, Cat Toy, or Work of Art? The CatSofa is All Three
• Negative Space
• Vampire Bee Update
• The Unsuccessful Undead: Four Animal-Themed Horror Movies You’ll Never See
• Vampire Bees
• Weekend Movie Guide
• An Open Letter to the Bees Swarming on My Front Porch
• The BP Oil Spill, Oversimplified
• From the archives
• The Gashlycrumb Terrors
• One Grappa, Two Grappa, Three Grappa, Floor