Today, I’m going to write a book review. If you’re familiar with this blog, you’ll be shocked to learn that the book I’m reviewing exists and that I’ve read it, which I’m pretty sure is what people who write actual book reviews do when reviewing actual books.
Continue reading “An Actual Book Review”
As a public service, I offer these suggestions to aspiring murder mystery writers who want to improve their work.
1. If at all possible, have the murder occur on Halloween. Halloween is the best day of the year to dispose of a body — you can walk around in blood-stained clothes, carrying as many severed body parts as you want, and people will just think you have a really cool costume. Of course, there’s always the possibility that, once people hear the news that a murder has occurred, they’ll have second thoughts about the costume they saw — but that’s okay, because they won’t know that you were the person wearing it. Remember, on Halloween, you can wear a mask.
Continue reading “How to Write the Perfect Mystery Novel”
It’s 1965, and things are looking pretty grim at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce (SCDP), the fictional advertising agency featured on Mad Men. Partner Pete Campbell has just sabotaged a lucrative new contract with North American Aviation in order to avoid a background check that would reveal secrets that might result in jail time for senior partner Don Draper. Even worse, they’re about to lose their largest client, Lucky Strike cigarettes. Can the agency survive? I think it can, with a little help from some of its contemporaries: this series of five crossover episodes with 1960s-era TV shows should put SCDP back on track.
Continue reading “Can Mad Men’s Ad Agency Survive? Yes, With a Little Help From Some Of Its Contemporaries”
Thanks to everyone who commented on the “vampire bees” post; some of the stories about zombie bees and similar creatures inspired this list of hypothetical horror movies.
1. Jaws 5: Night of the Wolf
Sharks are scary, and werewolves are scary, so what could be more frightening than a shark werewolf? This 3D IMAX movie features some breathtaking underwater visuals but ends somewhat abruptly after the first full moon, when the shark turns into a wolf and drowns.
2. Hummingbird Horror
Hitchcock’s classic The Birds meets, well, any zombie movie ever made. Zombie hummingbirds terrorize an isolated coastal town; however, because hummingbirds need to flap their wings very rapidly to fly, and zombies move very slowly, all these creatures can do is sit and stare at passers-by. Still, this behavior is pretty creepy, and some people do sustain injuries tripping over the birds.
Continue reading “The Unsuccessful Undead: Four Animal-Themed Horror Movies You’ll Never See”
Here’s a little flowchart to help you decide what movie to see this weekend (updated because Jens reminded me that Primer exists).
Continue reading “Weekend Movie Guide”